I had previously asked you for advice on the baby Sasquatch I have roaming
in my backyard at night, and you haven't answered! Here's the snapshot of
him I captured with a tripwire-remote camera, in case you've forgotten:

Now, this thing has terrorized my kids to the point where they won't even
go out and play after midnight, and something has got to be done! Should
I be worried about such a creature, being (apparently) only a baby and all?

Oh! ****. Now my wife tells me that this little sumbitch is in the
lettuce patch, right in broad daylight! She took a quick shot of him:

I can't have this little bastard eating my lettuce! What will my family
eat when winter sets in??? We're talking about survival here!

Please Tom (Alan), let's set aside our differences, and give me some
advice on what to do about this menace to my family. I'm tempted to just
shoot the little sumbitch, but not sure what kind of firearm to use.
Don't want to just wound him, and have him fly into a rage and kill us
all! Would a .30-06 be enough, would you reckon? Or should I go and get
something bigger? Please advise soonest!!! I'm scared to go out the door
any more!

"Tom N" ("Tom Newton") - the latest nymshift of "Alan Connor".
Read more about the netkook Alan Connor here:
Email him: or