Acceptance Speech -- Extended Version: Re: digest, volume 2454323 - OS2

This is a discussion on Acceptance Speech -- Extended Version: Re: digest, volume 2454323 - OS2 ; Tholen Ham tholed: Here is Wee Davie Tholen's entire acceptance speech for his three new shiny kook awards, the speech he was too much of a coward to post in the proper thread (groups restored): >Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler writes: ...

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  1. Acceptance Speech -- Extended Version: Re: digest, volume 2454323

    Tholen Ham tholed:

    Here is Wee Davie Tholen's entire acceptance speech for his three new
    shiny kook awards, the speech he was too much of a coward to post in
    the proper thread (groups restored):

    >Friendly Neighborhood Vote Wrangler writes:
    >
    >1> Newsgroups:
    >alt.usenet.kooks,alt.astronomy,comp.os.os2.advocac y,sci.electronics.design,alt.
    >astrology,alt.society.sovereign
    >
    >1>
    >1> "20th Century Fox Fanfare"
    >1>

    >
    >1> The time has come to announce the winners of the June 2007 Usenet Kook
    >1> Awards. Envelopes, please!
    >
    >What took so long, Wrangler? It's August already. Are the kooks so
    >disorganized that they can't even announce the winners of their silly
    >awards for June before issuing the ballot for July, Wrangler?


    Classic typo pounce lame, Ham.
    >
    >1> drumroll
    >
    >1> BOBO AWARD
    >
    >1> The winner is...SEAMAN RUSSELL TAVARES AKA PYRODICE!
    >
    >1> 22 votes YES
    >1> 02 votes NO
    >
    >1> Good going, Pyrodice! When you get out of the brig^H^H^H^H prison in seven
    >1> years, I hope you think twice about burning down someone's trailer just for
    >1> calling your sockpuppet a nerd.
    >
    >1> KOOK OF THE MONTH
    >
    >1> The winner is...NUNYA BIDNESS AKA MASSIVE PRONG AND SPURIOUS RESPONSE!
    >
    >1> 11 votes Nunya Bidness AKA Massive Prong and Spurious Response
    >1> 08 votes Bill Hughes
    >1> 06 votes Zanthius.dxun AKA Dr. Druggie
    >1> 02 votes John Griffin
    >1> 02 votes None of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Numby! Your massive kookout, along with your history of
    >1> being a spanktard, morpher, and coward, propelled you ahead of one
    >1> candidate with delusions of being Superman, another with delusions of being
    >1> a prophet from another planet, and a former kookologist who melted down
    >1> just from being poked the right way. You may think you're a hardware
    >1> genius, but Gnarls Barkley and I think you're crazy!
    >
    >1>
    >1> "Crazy" Live on Letterman
    >1>

    >
    >1> CLUELESS NEWBIE OF THE MONTH
    >
    >1> The winner is...ANGELA KAHEALANI OF ALT.SOCIETY.SOVEREIGN!
    >
    >1> 14 votes Angela Kahealani of alt.society.sovereign
    >1> 04 votes Emo Haircut of alt.suicide.holiday
    >1> 01 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Angela! Please stop crossposting into alt.usenet.kooks.
    >
    >1> COWARD OF THE MONTH
    >
    >1> The winner is...EDMOND HEINZ WOLLMANN!
    >
    >1> 17 votes Edmond Heinz Wollmann
    >1> 06 votes David Tholen
    >1> 01 votes Duane Arnold
    >1> 00 votes None of the above
    >
    >1> Wow, Pantyhead, has it really been three years since you won a regular
    >1> monthly award and two years since you won an AUK award of any kind? It
    >1> has. Good going for running away from Cheryl Merrill, who isn't even in
    >1> your league for kookiness and congratulations on repeating as Coward of the
    >1> Month for the first time in six years!
    >
    >1> LOONEY MAROON AWARD
    >
    >1> The winner is...NIGHTBAT OF ALT.ASTRONOMY!
    >
    >1> 14 votes Nightbat of alt.astronomy
    >1> 12 votes Tom Potter
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Captain of the Elite Earth and Spaced-Out Science Officer
    >1> Corps! You managed to defeat last month's winner and continue a string of
    >1> three consecutive months where this award was won by one of the science
    >1> officers of alt.astronomy. Keep up the good work, and may Darla properly
    >1> reward you!
    >
    >1> GOLDEN KILLFILE
    >
    >1> The winner is...DAVID THOLEN!
    >
    >Famous Last Words.


    *plonk*


    >
    >1> 21 votes David Tholen
    >1> 04 votes Alt.vampyres troll
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Dr. Tholen! You've just demonstated that it's a classic
    >1> erroneous presupposition that your digests and stereotyped responses are
    >1> worth reading.
    >
    >Classic erroneous presupposition.


    Classic tholo-lame.
    >
    >1> JOSEPH BARTLO PATHETIC ANAL PINEAPPLE AWARD
    >
    >1> The winner is...ANGELA KAHEALANI OF ALT.SOCIETY.SOVEREIGN!
    >
    >1> 09 votes Angela Kahealani of alt.society.sovereign
    >1> 07 votes Respondent
    >1> 06 votes Charles Novins AKA Atlas Bugged of alt.tv.firefly
    >1> 00 votes None of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations again, Angela. Please stop crossposting into alt.fan.art-
    >1> bell, too!
    >
    >1> BOB ALLISAT MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
    >
    >1> The winner is...DAVID THOLEN!
    >
    >1> 19 votes YES
    >1> 02 votes NO
    >
    >1> Congratulations again, Dr. Tholen! You first won this in 2005--I should
    >1> know, I was the one who nominated you for that award--and you've proven
    >1> that you're even more eager to jump at trollbait now than you were then.
    >
    >Classic erroneous presupposition.


    Classic tholo-lame.
    >
    >1> TONY SIDAWAY DRAMA QUEEN AWARD
    >
    >1> The winner is...DR. ANDREW B. CHUNG!
    >
    >1> 17 votes Dr. Andrew B. Chung
    >1> 08 votes Brad Guth
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Double-Doctor! In a runoff between the two previous
    >1> winners, you proved yourself to be the better flouncer. Remember that
    >1> acting like a diva will allow you to win this award only once more between
    >1> now and next June, so pace yourself.
    >
    >1> VICTOR VON FRANKENSTEIN WEIRD SCIENCE AWARD
    >
    >1> The winners are...PAINE ELLSWORTH AKA PAINIUS OF ALT.ASTRONOMY
    >1> AND BILL SHEPPARD AKA OLDCOOT!
    >
    >1> 20 votes YES
    >1> 00 votes NO
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Saucerheads! You two are such prolific mad scientists
    >1> that Painius can only win this award once more between now and next
    >1> January. Keep up the good work, as both Captain Nightbat and Darla will be
    >1> proud of you.
    >
    >1> GEORGE PICKETT MEMORIAL TROPHY
    >
    >1> The winner is...DAVID THOLEN!
    >
    >1> 13 votes David Tholen,
    >1> 08 votes Charles Novins AKA Atlas Bugged of alt.tv.firefly
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations a final time, Dr. Tholen. Your multi-year crusade to keep
    >1> your home groups--rec.music.classical, sci.astro, and
    >1> comp.os.os2.advocacy--free of off-topic posts and trolls has been such a
    >1> smashing success
    >
    >Classic erroneous presupposition of the existence of any such crusade,
    >Wrangler. Of course, you and your kook friends would already know that
    >if any of you had decent reading comprehension skills.


    One need only to figure out how many years you've been typing "classic"
    into your usenet "replies", and for how many years you've been posting
    your "digests".

    Classic lame denial.
    >
    >1> that 90% of the posts from January to May this year to
    >1> cooa are now crossposts,
    >
    >Initiated by the kooks, of course.


    I'm well aware that you are a kook who has just added to his kook award
    resume with the addition of three shiny new kook awards, Tholen. No
    need to remind me, but thanks for the gesture anyway.
    >
    >1> only two of the 40 longest threads are on-topic to the group,
    >
    >How do you compute length, Wrangler? Number of posts? Combined
    >length of posts in lines? Combined length of posts in characters?
    >Duration in time? Classic ambiguity, but expected from kooks.


    So your kookdance has deteriorated to calling other people kooks. How
    .... lame.
    >
    >1> and all of the top 40 posters other than you are either there to
    >1> troll you or troll the people who are trolling you.
    >
    >Classic self-fulfilling prophecy. It's that way only because the kooks
    >wanted it that way, Wrangler. The kooks could easily inundate any
    >newsgroup and then make that same claim.


    You have conveniently neglected in this "analysis" that the alleged
    "any newsgroup" does not suffer from Tholenization, Ham.
    >
    >1> As King Pyrrhus would
    >1> say 'another such victory and you'll be undone.'
    >
    >Illogical, Wrangler, but expected from a kook such as yourself.


    So sayeth the Illogical Astrologer.
    >
    >1> SPECIAL OPS CODY MEMORIAL PURPLE HEART
    >
    >1> The winner is...EDMOND HEINZ WOLLMANN!
    >
    >1> 17 votes Edmond Heinz Wollmann
    >1> 07 votes Double-A,
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations a second time, Pantyhead! Not only did you run away from
    >1> Cheryl Merrill, you shot yourself in the foot in the process. For that,
    >1> you won--gasp--an award you've never won before! Considering that it's
    >1> your 45th USENET Kook Award, that's something of an accomplishment.
    >
    >1> BUSTED URINAL AWARD
    >
    >1> The winner is...HAGAR!
    >
    >1> 11 votes Hagar
    >1> 07 votes John Griffin
    >1> 02 votes Mark Morgan
    >1> 00 votes None of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Horrible! Are you sure that you were foaming at your
    >1> /mouth/ at Art Deco? I'm not.
    >
    >1> UNABOMBER SURPRISE
    >
    >1> The winner is...MICHAEL "HOWDY/TRUMPETOFTHELORD" SCHMIDT!
    >
    >1> 19 votes Michael "Howdy/Trumpet of the Lord" Schmidt
    >1> 02 votes Darrin of rec.sport.basketball
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations Howdy! If my records are correct, this is your seventh AUK
    >1> Kook Award, which puts you ahead of Colonel Jake's six awards and Catherine
    >1> Burr's five awards to make you the most award winning kook on RAMD. It
    >1> also means that you now share the same award that the other two RAMD kooks
    >1> have also earned--the Unabomber Surprise! It gladdens me to see you
    >1> upholding the RAMD tradition for kooky screeding.
    >
    >1> GOOFY AZZED BABBOON
    >
    >1> The winner is...BILL HUGHES!
    >
    >1> 10 votes Bill Hughes
    >1> 06 votes Darrin of rec.sport.basketball
    >1> 00 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Wild Bill! You may think you're Superman, but you talk
    >1> just like Bizarro!
    >
    >1> ORDER OF THE HOLEY SOCKPUPPET
    >
    >1> The winner is...NUNYA BIDNESS AKA MASSIVE PRONG AND SPURIOUS RESPONSE!
    >
    >1> 18 votes Nunya Bidness AKA Massive Prong and Spurious Response
    >1> 08 votes Steve Chaney
    >1> 01 votes Neither of the above
    >
    >1> Congratulations, Numby! You lose a flamewar, you morph. You win a
    >1> flamewar, you morph. You want to prove a point, you morph. Is it any
    >1> surprise that you thumped an established net.kook who not only morphs, but
    >1> fr0gs as well?
    >
    >1> PIERRE SALINGER MEMORIAL HOOK, LINE & SINKER
    >
    >1> The winner is...FAKE BIGNETBUY, R0CK!
    >
    >1> 14 votes YES
    >1> 01 votes NO
    >
    >1> Congruatulations, r0ck! While it may be cheating to steal an identity ,
    >1> you have run so many other good trolls (NYC Kid, anyone) that got lots of
    >1> clueful people to bite, that I didn't begrudge your being on the ballot.
    >1> Besides, even I thought you were the real BigNetBuy...just once.
    >
    >1> This concludes the announcement of the winners of the May 2007 Usenet
    >1> Kook Awards.
    >
    >Above you said it was the June awards, Wrangler. Classic kook
    >inconsistency.


    Classic typo pounce and lame, Ham.
    >
    >1> Thirty-five people submitted thirty-five ballots.
    >
    >Good to know that there are so few kooks out there among the thousands
    >of USENET contributors.


    Yes, I see that you are correct, Tholen, the people who voted for you
    must all be kooks. You are in good company with Nunya Bidness,
    Zanthius.dxun, Emo Haircut, Edmond Heinz Wollmann, Tom Potter, Raymond
    Karczewski, Atlas Bugged, Dr. Andrew B. Chung, Brad Guth, Chuck Lysagt,
    Double-A, Hagar, Michael Schmidt, Steve Chaney, Steve "bowtie" Young,
    Alexa Cameron, Joseph Bartlo, and Richard Bullis. All the evil
    antagonists who laugh at the people on this lits and vote them awards
    are obviously kooks.
    >
    >1> Despite
    >1> some marginal problems, including one person having to submit his ballot
    >1> three times before getting it counted, all were accepted. Consequently,
    >1> thirty-five ballots were deemed valid and counted.
    >
    >And it took you one (assuming the reference to June above is correct) or
    >two (assuming the reference to May above is correct) months to count them
    >all, Wrangler? I guess it's too much to expect from a kook such as
    >yourself, Wrangler.


    Classic typo pounce and lame, Ham.
    >
    >1> See you all very soon, when a special referendum will be held to determine
    >1> the future award worthiness of last month's big award winner. Until then,
    >1> enjoy and all hail Ming, Bob, and Fluffy!
    >
    >1> And now, a special recessional in honor of this month's winner,
    >1> Dr. David Tholen.
    >
    >Classic erroneous presupposition.


    Classic tholo-lame.
    >
    >1>
    >1> "Poor Pluto"
    >1>

    >
    >What does that have to do with OS/2, Wrangler?


    Hypocrite.

    --
    Official Overseer of Kooks and Saucerheads for alt.astronomy
    Trainer and leash holder of:
    Honest "Clockbrain" John
    nightbat "fro0tbat" of alt.astronomy
    Tom "TommY Crackpotter" Potter


    "You really are one of the litsiest people I know, Mr. Deco."
    --Kali, quoted endlessly by David Tholen as evidence of "something"

    "I am claiming that you believe ah's family name is "ah",
    Deco, and I substantiated that claim."
    --David Tholen

    "Quite a kook-out, Deco. You've been frothing even more
    ever since I demonstrated how you believe that ah's family
    name is "ah"."
    --David Tholen

  2. Deco chats with the Golden Killfile like an IDIOT!


    "Art Deco" wrote in message

    > Hypocrite.


    Talking to the Golden Killfile Deco?

    That's pretty Ko0Ky!

    Pinky will SPNAK you!

    HJ
    --

    "Silly little awards"
    - pinku-sensei@caballista.org




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