After the network discovery shut itself off one day due to low battery
power, I haven't been able to turn it back on.

I've tried everything listed in the help indexes without getting
online.

Pushing the wireless assistant network button on the front does
absolutely nothing.

Clicking on the "HP Wireless Assistant" button does nothing either.

In Network and Connections, switching network discovery to "on" only
refreshes the page and tells me that it's still off.

I've also tried repairing it, uninstalling and then reinstalling it,
resetting the system -- everything.