Breathing hope

Andrei Roxana Elena

From Romania

My story of converting into Islam began when I tried to search for
God , for my self , who I am , who is that world and so many
questions connected with this life - like every body of you . I felt
all the time restless , add to this some health problems . I began to
read Quran , learn , think ...all the questions that nagged me have been
laid to rest on reading Quran . NOW, I am a new person , with a new
soul and a new character ....I won't bother you of my troubles though I
have many - Only God knows .

The reason why I write this story is My angel daughter " Alexandra".
My sweet angel who suffers so much, locked into a world of silence and
impotence to do anything alone. How much I love her? Well, how much
can love a mother, her child? There are not enough words to express
the love of a mother for her children. She is suffering from brain
paralysis since she was born , she is now 19 years old . she is not
able to speak, not even one word. , she is motionless. Some sounds or
very adorable laugh or smile or a cry with painful tears are the only
instruments of her communication with me or people around her.

When I converted to Islam , I began to learn some verses from Quran ,
I am not clever at Arabic , I just read Quran with English letters
(transliteration ) , but I understand what I read .It wasn't long
time before I began to sense the beautiful world , beautiful words
fills my ears and my soul ...I am not alone ...I am no longer that person
who was all the time shut in .

My flat is so small , I have to do the prayer by my daughter , I can't
leave her for a minute -believe me - can't leave her for a minute .
She is all the time in trouble , needs something . Have you ever left
your newly-born baby alone while it is awake ?!!!So I have to do my
prayer next to her bed that she has never left .

When I do my prayer next to her , she changes completely , she turns
so happy , peaceful signs cross her face , she laughs , she is happy ,
yes, she is happy , I know her . My restless angel ( Alexandera )
turns to be quiet , calm and so happy when I do prayer before her .

For me, all that comes from Allaah mean joy, no matter what it is, He,
The Greatest, The All-Knower, will never leave me if I believe and
submit to Him. So, seeing my helpless child being so happy and content
with the words of Allaah from the Holy Qur'an, it was the sweetest
thing and blessing from The One that I owed all I have, including my
self . Shall I stop counting all the blessings that Allaah gave it to
me? No! After a month of daily prayers in front of my girl Alexandra,
another miracle happened. ,,Qul Huwa Allaahu Ahadun" (Say (O Muhammad
(Peace be upon him)): "He is All‚h, (the) One, the first verse from
the Surah Al-Ikhlas, which I use to recite in all my prayers.

Believe it or not

One day, right before I start to pray Asr, my girl said her first
words in 19 years: , yes the first word since her birth , do you know
what did she say ? She said "Qual Ua". The first word in the firs
verse ... My heart was overwhelmed with the greatest happiness and my
prayer was more ardent than ever before for Allaah, The Only One ,Who
made that possible. I wasn't astonished, rather happy, because I know
and I will never forget how my heart reacted when I have listened to
Qur'an for the first time and also when I start to read Qur'an or when
I prayed for the first time and when I prayed in Arabic and
practically in each escond of all my seconds of life, since I
discovered the right way and the true religion, Islam.

As a mother , I was all the time depressed , wishing to hear my 19-
year old daughter say any word . when I converted to Islam , I
submitted my whole self to God , It doesn't matter if my child will
start to speak or not ; it doesn't matter if she will ever repeat
those words or others; it doesn't matter if she understands or not
what's happening; all that matters is the fact that Allaah is with her
and blessed me even if it was for only once or for a brief moment. I
am Muslim and I am happy. I am Muslim and I know that Allaah will
never leave me as far as I believe in Him and worship Him.

Probably, you, people who'll read my story will put on serious
question:first if this really possible and second, if I am telling the
truth. So, I will say to you, my reader, before even you try to
believe or not my story and this miracle of Allaah, just go and look
at yourself into a mirror. Look well and tell me what you see. If you
cannot see that you are a miracle of Allaah, if you cannot see Allaah
in all of what you have, and then you start not to believe my story,
because, we are Allaah's miracles. He creates us. Then? Why you'll not
believe that if He made us from dust, He can make any other miracle?
Anyway, believe it or not, I cannot be otherwise than happy to be
witness of it and to see my child so close to Allaah saying her first
word in this life after nineteen years of silence ---yes her first
word was ( Say that God is one )